A Good Name - pt 7
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Dick Jokes for Justice?!

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woohooligan Mar 14, 2016
woohooligan NEW! Check out our best laughs from 2016!
It's always kind of weird to me when a guy's approach to attracting a woman is euphemizing her lady-bits. It certainly doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that not only are most women NOT turned on by this, a lot of them are actively repelled by it.

Having said that... whoever made this pocket guide to vaginal euphemisms is a genius! I admit, I've never called it a "gravy boat", but too few people are aware how useful one of those is as a mode of transportation. It's a little known fact that Washington would never have crossed the Delaware without the aid of his personal chef, who brought all the good china, including the dish they used to serve giblets. And certainly the Indians were grateful for that when Washington reached the other side and they cooked and ate half of his retinue. It made sense, they were well seasoned already, why let good sauce go to waste?

I guess you can't expect much research from things posted to the internet though, as "yoni" isn't a made-up word either, it's a word from another language (I think it's Hindi). Also, who in the hell is using "Bluebeard's closet"? Arr, matey! Just let me fetch me coat out of me lass' fine vag!

But if you want to impress most women, you really can't use any of these unless you already know her... still, some guys just don't seem to have received the memo... I guess it really illustrates the big difference between men and women, because I think most guys are all too eager to hear penis euphemisms, or to create new ones out of whole cloth. And lord knows, you can't have a gay bar unless the name of that gay bar is a euphemism like Manhole or Ramrod. I suspect that's only because you can't get a liquor license for "the Gaping Asshole"... although that name certainly would make assholes gape.

And the male euphemisms are just as silly... One eyed wonder worm, meat and two vegetables, sword, lance, pencil, love muscle, trouser snake... The pirates of men's pants... From now on, the only person who can legally call it a Magic Wand is David Copperfield, and him only because I know he uses it to make things disappear. Certainly if my house ever catches fire, I want the firemen to use their hoses... and I'm sure so many women would like to have that kind of pressure... It reminds me of something from Twitter a while back. They used to have these "joke formats" where people would try and one-up each other on different punch lines, like "my spirit animal is... " So someone posts "if the sheets are still on the bed, you don't know how to have sex"... and obviously someone else took this as a challenge and posted, "if the bed frame isn't broken, you don't know how to have sex." So I took it to the obvious conclusion, "if there's not a terrible disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were silenced... you just don't know how to write a sex joke."

I don't really know where I'm going with all this... I just want to say: cocks.

This page was unexpectedly challenging. I realized about half-way through this page that I needed a ton of shadows for this one, and I usually don't do much shading. I still got it done in a day or two, which is good for me, because I'm short on time this month. I still have to take the last week of March off to help my mom move across country from Texas to Ohio, so she can stay with us here in Dayton. If you'd like to see more of these comics, you can help! Thanks, Hooligans!

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