Till Death Do Us Part - pt 1
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woohooligan Dec 7, 2015
woohooligan NEW! Check out our best laughs from 2016!
Pff... Men! Am I right? ;)

Obviously the way Pappy imagines heaven is ... inaccurate. And it's colored by the way he sees the world in general. Personally I kind of think it wouldn't be much of a heaven if there wasn't any sex. What about you? Sex in heaven?

My wife Tiffany and I have never been hung up on this idea of previous or future partners... that may be part of the reason neither of us have ever had this kind of talk with our parents or grandparents. It's hard to get hung up on that sort of thing when you're both bisexual and you've had the occasional threesome...

Don't go thinking we have some wild sex life. The handful of sex stories we had from the early part of our relationship were so BAAAD that our rule now is no-one under thirty, and we haven't been with anyone but each other in... what? The last time was 2006, so we're coming up on a decade now, despite still identifying as poly. Neither of us have ever been fans of casual sex and we've been busy with other things (raising my kids since 2011), so enjoying our own sex life has been enough, despite the drag queen in Portland who couldn't stop throwing himself at us. ;P

And even when it's just the two of us, I'm told our sex life is better than average, since we get together several times a week and when we do we're not in such a rush like most couples. A quickie for us is fifteen minutes... I read that the average duration for a couple in America is under five minutes?! Whaa? Slow down, kids! It's not a race! Seriously, you have some time to enjoy yourself. Get a sitter -- and if you can't afford one, call me, I'll watch your... oh, what's that? You wouldn't dream of leaving your kids with a... now that was uncalled for. ;P

When I was a kid, my grandmother used to go square-dancing every week for years until she eventually decided it just wasn't going to lead anywhere beyond dancing and gave it up. I didn't really understand it at the time -- the dating or the square dancing -- I was too young. I still don't understand square dancing, that's just crazy! In retrospect, I think I'd have been happy for her if she'd found someone.

I remember several years ago Ellen DeGeneres had a couple on her show and the only reason was because the woman was in her eighties and the guy was a next-door neighbor in his twenties... well, that and they were willing to talk about it on national TV. I was happy to see that most of the audience were supportive. Sure, he'll outlive her, but they both know that and as long as there's honesty in the relationship, why not? That doesn't necessarily mean that any of us want to see Fifty Shades of Granny.

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