Persona Non Sequitur
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woohooligan Oct 1, 2014
woohooligan NEW! Check out our best laughs from 2016!
Being smug is fun! And so easy to do! All you gotta do is find a good non sequitur. For example, if a guy runs out of the research hospital shouting, "We did it! We did it! We cured cancer!", you just look him in the eye and you say "well, do you know what the glycemic index of a banana is? Do you, punk?! I thought not. So how can you say you care about people's health?!" ... "but... canc-" -"TALK TO THE HAND, mister haven't memorized the glycemic index catalog".

It's just like Renes Descartes said, "cogito ergo banana", roughly translated, "I think therefore fruitcake!" But Descartes was wrong, because the cake is a lie!

Or more to the point, your ability to identify arbitrary blobs of pastel colors on a map of nations is about as useful to your daily life as Helen Keller's kaleidoscope (oh, the pretty, pretty colors)! Unless you truly believe that one day some crazed crack addict will blow your brains out unless you know the longitude and latitude of Jellystone National Park, I think you're pretty safe. I first heard this load of bull years ago from Deepak Chopra of all people. I often hear it trotted out when someone wants to feel superior, with the added bonus of shaming us dumb Americans who're too busy shooting guns in the air and cramming bacon in our maw to pick up a book.

Thanks to Jeff Houser for backing our ebook Kickstarter! I was originally going to do some kind of guitar-playing gag for your cameo, but I thought you might enjoy this one too, so here it is. :D

The bonus panel is now on Patreon!

Also, congratulations to Mark Stokes whose Zombie Boy Kickstarter is now 65% funded with two whole weeks remaining!

You are an important part of Laughter for a Better World!

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Tony McGurk Oct 14, 2014
Tony McGurk Smugness is a quality admired by many but achieved by so few
woohooligan Oct 14, 2014
woohooligan Perhaps this tutorial will help more people achieve the state of smugness. If I've helped one person, then I'll consider it a success. ;)
Tony McGurk Oct 14, 2014
Tony McGurk You have done the world a great service. Well done!!!
Pink Dragon Oct 19, 2014
Is it odd that I was able to point out both the Processor and Iraq?
Probably not. I'm Australian.
woohooligan Oct 19, 2014
woohooligan Wasn't Australia originally founded as a haven for unpopular British nerds who share an interest in cartography and integrated circuits? :P
Tony McGurk Oct 19, 2014
Tony McGurk I'm Tasmanian & I've never heard of an iphone... What's a processor???
woohooligan Oct 19, 2014
woohooligan Iphones are great! It's a little thing you attach to your eyeball that uses magnets to vibrate your eye at just the right frequency to make music! Rock on!

The processor is a little gnome in a hamster wheel. They also will do your taxes. :P
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