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woohooligan Jul 10, 2013
woohooligan NEW! Check out our best laughs from 2016!
Ahh, pandering! That's what you call it when you insult someone in the hopes of endearing yourself to them, right? Right?!

To be honest, I'm fine with Canadians' drug culture, their mounties and their maple-syrup-scented money. What gets me is the moose... it's like God decided this animal should have giant sporks on its head. WTF? I'm not entirely convinced that moose actually exist -- I think it might be a clever ploy from the Canadian board of tourism. Come see the moose! If you can find one! Those poor, naive Canadian tourists.

You know what else is weird about Canada? It's in the alternate ending (now on Patreon)!

Also the Woohooligan facebook page is applying for Canadian citizenship - that damn deserter!

On a more serious note, I have a bit of a confession to make. I love making Woohooligan! It's one of the best things in my life and I'm really lucky, blessed even, that I'm able to do this for you fine folks. With that in mind, I also have to do right by my kids.

A few years ago when Tiff and I moved back to Dallas, we discovered that my ex-wife was developing Alzheimer's and the kids were in really bad shape because of it -- a couple years behind in school, the house was like a garbage dump, no hygiene to speak of and the only food in the house was candy and cakes. Granted, Nick enjoyed living in a gingerbread house, but we worried about their health! ;P

We've been real lucky that we were able to step in and get custody of the kids at a real critical moment. After a year-long custody battle, we finally won and then within a few months my ex-wife had a bad episode that left her clinically dead for several minutes (we're not sure exactly how long) and then landed her in a permanent care facility in east Dallas, no longer able to speak or feed herself. It confirmed for me that as challenging as the custody battle was, it was the right thing to do, and we were real lucky we got the kids when we did, so they didn't have to find their mom like that.

So now that the kids are here, we've got 6 people in the house and unfortunately our bills are more than our income. We've got a little bit of savings and we were hoping to get a house for the 6 of us under $65k. That in itself was going to be a huge challenge, but last week we got a call from the bank saying that the trust took a hit in the bond market and its total value now is down to only $50k. While we're still hopeful we can find a house large enough for the 6 of us (cross-country in Toledo, OH), we really have to get on the ball about increasing our income. We're just down to the wire now and every dollar counts because if we're not able to find a place in Toledo, we may have to move to a place where there's not really internet to be had and that may mean no more Woohooligan for a while.

So in the next week or so I'm going to be putting up my store with a couple of ebooks and some t-shirts that I've had here for a while. You can always donate as well (links under "Are You a Hooligan?" in the menu at the top), but more than that, I'd just like to ask that you share Woohooligan with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, in person - wherever you hang-out. :D It doesn't matter if you only have 3 friends, every bit helps. The more people see Woohooligan, the more likely it is that I'll be able to continue making it for all you wonderful people. :D

Stay awesome, hooligans!

p.s. What's your favorite fun-fact about Canada?

You are an important part of Laughter for a Better World!

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McBob Jul 11, 2013
No economic crises - Actually, it's the government-regulated banks and stock market that are responsible for Canada not having any economic crises. Capitalism is a failure unless it is fettered; held back from going completely apeshit like it does in America. Sub-prime mortgages would have been protected by the government-administered bank insurance, preventing the stock holders from losing value like they did in the US. America is slitting its own throat by seeing the government as the enemy, because the government is THE PEOPLE! If you hate the government, then you hate Americans. Government services are not a bad thing; they're cheaper and more effective than anything the Free Market could provide. Federally-owned corporations rarely struggle financially, and routinely post good returns, which are then invested back into the company, rather than sitting in some offshore account belonging to one of the Idle Rich Parasites. Yes, Parasites. The Rich are the ones who are truly feeding off the lifesblood of the nation, sucking up billions in taxpayer money that never re-enters the market.

You want financial stability in the US? Next bailout, bailout the PEOPLE, not the Banks/Corproation. When you give money to the people, it still ends up helping the companies; it just cuts down poverty, suffering and joblessness in a way that bailing out corporations could never do. Money flows upward, like water in a plant. If you don't water the roots (The People), then the whole plant will whither. That's what's happened to America with all this retarded austerity and the sequester. You also need to indulge in vigorous domestic spending. That is what inserts money into the economy. You pay for that with robust taxes on the rich. They are the dead-end for money from the economy, so it's only logical to tax them the most; somewhere akin to 72% of their gross income from ALL sources, foreign or domestic. It won't hurt them any, and it will fix the economy and create jobs so fast your head will spin.
woohooligan Jul 11, 2013
woohooligan Yes, I agree with all of that... the problem is, Woohooligan isn't supposed to be filled with angry rants, it's supposed to be filled with funny! I might have gone that direction if there were any kind of punchline in it.
McBob Jul 11, 2013
Anger? - Where is there anger in that? It's just the facts.
woohooligan Jul 12, 2013
woohooligan Just off the top of my head you called people parasites. Seems pretty angry.
McBob Jul 13, 2013
An adjective does not make anger - It's just a statement of fact. Calling the rich parasites is an extremely accurate description of them as they suck money out of the economy without giving anything back. What would you call that? A leech? A parasite? You have a better name for that?
woohooligan Jul 13, 2013
woohooligan I wouldn't call it anything - I would say exactly what you just said "they take money out of the economy without giving any back". When you use a pejorative like "parasite" or "leech" it's obvious to anyone reading that you're angry-ranting. Also, parasite is a noun, not an adjective. D'oh!
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