be
Dear Intellectually Challenged Person,
Selling your car was dumb.
I'm no longer receiving large sums of cash because I can no longer hotwire your car to make my deliveries. I have not the time to form an exploratory committee to locate another sucker whose car I could use for this purpose. Poop.
Purchase a late model Cadillac right away before I call my attorney regarding your responsibility to my business.
Sincerely, Danny McCrackdealer
You are an important part of Laughter for a Better World!